Emotional breakdown

What is it?

What is it the thing they have that I don't?
What is the thing they understood that I don't?
Love? Honesty? Trust?
What is it???
It kills me.
Not knowing, it kills me.


It breaks my heart when I found out that all the feelings I have poured out to you is being doubted.
It hurts when I know you are still insecure with the love I am giving to you.
It is scary when you can live the day without asking how I am.
I am a woman.
How strong can I be compared to you, a man?
Acting to be tough is my best job.
But deep down, I need you.
I need to know that you care.
I need to know that you are afraid of losing me.
I need to know that you are worried of not hearing anything from me.

I used to feed on my ego.
I used to be the hard-hearted woman.
I used to be the champion of being someone who does not text first.
But I have thrown away everything since I have known you.

Because I know..
Being ego is not healthy for a relationship.
Being selfish is not going to make it work.
But....

There is always a but....

24.11.2016 @ Thursday

AllahuAkbar!

Indeed Allah has a better plan for us. HE gave it when we're expecting it the least.

Alhamdulillah. Thank you, Allah.